Saturday, 25 August 2012


After playing an admirable hand in a tenth-wicket stand of 50, the highest of the innings, Mark Wood (34) was the last man to go, evidently aggrieved to be adjudged to have nicked White’s left-arm spin through to Chris Read the ball after the umpires had to confer over an another appeal for caught behind, Wood essaying a huge slog-sweep and the ball ricocheting up from boot (Notts felt) or ground (Umps felt) to a sprawling Read. Possibly a classic case of two-wrongs-make-a-tight logic that league players the length and breadth of the land will recognise with a weary sigh. Hard to say without TV, because that ensures every decision is right... Up in the Gods, Nev’s mate ‘Cyclops’ (rumoured to be fairly biased) reckons they were “both bloody aaht”.

Finally, no sign of Onions yet, except in the canteen, where the options – I kid ye not – are: Lincolnshire sausage in onion gravy; chicken, mushroom and onion pie; green veg with tiny roast shallots; roasted potatoes sprinkled with caramelised onions; and onion gravy for the chips. The only one of them I’ve made up is the possible onions in the pie. The rest is true. Right, just off for some onion trifle.

* * *

Lachrymose Notts are sobbing all over the tattered ruins of their Championship aspirations at a happily rain-free Trent Bridge. The source of their tears? Onions. Graham Onions. Fair to say he has a spring in his step.

The thinking popstar’s crumpet has taken all five Notts wickets to fall, two of which (Hales and Wessels) were to grubbers offering them no chance whatsoever. Adam Voges got an equally unplayable leg-cutter that castled him and, with the ball seaming just enough both ways, Lumb was undone lbw by a nip-backer from a typically probing line. Read, so often Notts’ saviour, fenced uncharacteristically at a short wide ball, as soft a dismissal as Benkenstein’s earlier, to leave the innings in disarray.

At 92 for 5, with Onions out of the attack (“one end to be batting ‘ere” reckons Nev), there is some respite for the home team, although it is perhaps not quite yet hay-making season.

The above was published by the Guardian on County Cricket - Live! for August 16, day two of Nottinghamshire vs Durham. Report here

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