Imagine it – you’re off to
play a winter’s cricket in Australia
OK, better pack your case. What
will you need?
T-shirts: ten of. Four or
five pairs of shorts. Some short-sleeve shirts. Few muscle tops – maybe not.
Budgie smugglers? Check. Actually, better take some swimming shorts, too – I’m
told the ocean gets cold. Oh, and flip-flops: one pair. No, two. And some
outfits for the evening. Maybe some more shorts, too, cos’ it’s always
absolutely baking hot Down Under, right?
Erm, that might not always be true…
And if it's not windy, there’s the odd shower...
The two clips give us two of
the legends of the commentary booth – Sir Geoffrey Boycott, Vice-President of
the People’s Democratic Republic of Yorkshire; and Richie Benaud, master of
understatement and laconic wit, and famous for only wearing suits of a certain
hue of suit: white, cream, fawn, bone, taupe, ivory or oatmeal.
Anyway, I digress.
What is brilliant about
Richie’s commentary here is the ludicrous optimism. Cricketers are of course
famous for looking on the bright side of…er, the weather: “if it stops in the
next 10 minutes and the wind picks up…” Fine, we’re glass half-full people here
(even when our glass is half-full of murky rainwater), but surely this is
taking it to absurd levels.
A “quick-drying ground”!!! Strewth.
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